Other Stupid American Pictures

Meet the mysterious man with the hairy chest and big belly that says, "BAAAAA!" Who could it be? To protect the innocent chump who unwittingly posed for this photo, this man's identity will not be disclosed. But I will tell you that he was born in 1969, and hails from the state of New York.

Meet the summer roommate of the mysterious man with the hairy chest and big belly that says, "BAAAAA!" This is Big "D" Duane Vigue. This picture was taken several days after the mysterious man's hairy chest and big belly started taunting Duane, telling him to become a shepherd so he could spend weeks at a time alone with his sheep, far away from other people who might gawk.

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Here is another shot of Duane. Unbeknownst to him, he was recently abducted by aliens. Since we lived across the hall from each other during the summer, it just so happened that I was abducted, too! I fell asleep that night cradling my camera, waiting for my Japanese roommate, Satoru, to perform a photogenic action of some sort. The aliens came in, whisked Duane and me away, and I snapped this picture of Duane after his examination in the holding room of the spacecraft. You can see from the drowsy glaze over his eyes that it was clearly about 4:00 am, or maybe the aliens popped his eyes out of their sockets, used them to play marbles, and replaced them. The eerie green light was most disconcerting. I was shocked to find this picture when I went to pick up my developed pictures, and it is the existence of this photograph alone that I was able to remember our abduction experience!

Here are some Stupid Americans partaking in the recent rave of the silver screen: 3-D goggles. What was the deal with those things? Wearing them ruined the color quality of the movie, and any 3-D effects you obtained from the goggles made your eyes go crossed. And if you became frustrated with the sensation of your eyes going crossed from the goggles, took them off, flung them onto the floor and tried to watch the movie without them, you saw red and blue outlines on everything that was supposed to be in 3-D, which destroyed any remaining pleasure you might have obtained from your movie viewing experience. At least the Americans had enough sense to quit making those kinds of movies.

This next photograph features a person I worked with over the summer parading around with the afterbirth seized from a local medical establishment's morgue. She gladly poses with it, but because of the odor emanating from it, she holds it far from he r body. Hey, she knows where that stuff comes from!

Go home.

Email bryantravis@yahoo.com